A label: a word or short phrase descriptive of a larger, more voluminous substance. "Homosexual" and "Gay" are labels. But they do not describe the same substance. They are not interchangeable. They are not synonymous. Now we have a Virginia congressman, a Republican, forced to resign over allegations that he, a 63 year old married man, solicited another man for sex over a phone dating service. The newspaper accounts call that "gay." It's not. It's homosexual. There's a big difference. A homosexual tries to have it both ways: he wants the good life that comes from toeing the line, social conformity, and paying lip service to "family values" and "character." Appearances are the only things that matter. His private life is not only private, it's duplicitous--a lie, a profound example of extreme hypocrisy.
However, this is learned behavior. And the teacher is fear. The effect of living a double-life is so damaging, so soul-crushing, that I do pity the man. He was a naval officer for years--who survived during an era when Reagan's witch hunt through the military ruined many a career. So I understand, but cannot condone. I pity him for his pain. But it is a pain he chose. Granted, society would not have provided him with the good life he sought if he had told the truth. But what's the price? Vilified by everyone. Truth and honesty still mean something in this world.