Monday, August 29, 2005

Transference and Projection

If there's any lesson I keep having to learn without making any progress, it's the fact that I'm hypersensitive and it gets in the way of communication.  This is exacerbated when coupled with my tendency toward transference, in which my ego, trying to manage and control uncomfortable feelings and sensations, unconsciously projects those feelings onto someone else.  In this instance, my attitude toward my own defects was projected onto another individual.  "My god, she thinks the whole world revolves around her."  This was occasioned by an innocent statement "I feel odd planning my own reception."  I took it as a dig, that I wasn't doing enough to help plan the reception.  When her statement was a simple fact--she did feel somewhat odd planning her own party.  My ego transferred my uncomfortable feelings about planning the party, and projected it onto her.  My uncomfortable feelings about planning the party (it's going to be a lot of work) were transferred and displaced.  I couldn't face the reality of my own laziness, and so my ego cast her as the egomaniac. 

This was all unconscious and subliminal.  And it isn't until I'm shocked out of this disordered thinking that the truth of the matter becomes apparant.  Usually that has to happen through confrontation.

No comments: